


Words I Didn't Say

by RainbowSerenity



Category: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: F/M, First Meetings, Mutual Pining, Online Dating, adorableness, yes good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 08:08:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16260161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowSerenity/pseuds/RainbowSerenity
Summary: 'Hi. My sister saw me looking at your profile and insisted I message you. Don’t worry about replying if you don’t want to, I’m just doing this to appease her.'Hope chuckled to himself. That sounded an awful lot like his situation, only in his case, his best friend was the enabler that made him a profile on a dating site against his wishes.He didn't expect it to actually work.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Someone requested that I stick this on here~ 
> 
> I apparently wrote both chapters five years ago, so uh....forgive me if this is lame. LOL

For the past few months, Hope had been wondering the same thing over and over.

Was it possible to fall in love with someone you’d never met? 

All of the love songs in the world seemed to imply that yes, it was absolutely possible. Reality checks, however, tended to be a lot more, well…realistic.

It had never been his intention at all. In fact, he’d put off any notion of being in a serious relationship until after college. It seemed to make sense, since all of his years in school were going to be very, very intense. He couldn’t be distracted by girls.

Vanille should _not_ have taken that as her cue to make him a profile on a dating website.

“Well, it’s perfect!” she’d argued in her ‘logical’ fashion. “You don’t want to be distracted by girls in _real life,_ right? Here you can just email them!”

"The fact that it’s only electronic communication doesn’t dismiss the fact that they’re very much real,” Hope had pointed out in annoyance. “Or, well, so they say.”

“Oh, come on, just give it a whirl!”

And so he had, against his better judgement. Despite the fact that Vanille had decked his profile out to show him off perfectly, it was months before he got any messages, but once they started, they came in a flood. A few were just from girls that actually went to the same school, looking to hang out. One was from a little blonde girl he recognized from his biggest class that had an extremely obvious crush on him.

Delete, delete, delete.

It always took forever when he _did_ reply to any messages - so long that the other person would lose interest. That was fine with him. He basically went on here when he needed breaks from studying, anyway.

It was a little over six months after Vanille had set up that profile for him that he got a message from someone he’d never seen before.

_Hi. My sister saw me looking at your profile and insisted I message you. Don’t worry about replying if you don’t want to, I’m just doing this to appease her._

Hope chuckled to himself. That sounded an awful lot like his situation. Curiously, he clicked on the profile of the woman who’d sent the message.

Instantly, it was as though the wind had been knocked out of him. She wasn’t quite looking at the camera or smiling in her profile picture - almost as though someone had taken it without her noticing - but there was something about her that left him completely breathless.

Somehow, he managed to tear his eyes away from her picture, chuckling again at her name. There was no way that _Lightning_ was her real name.

Then again, he was one to talk.

_Then I guess you won’t mind me doing the same. My best friend set this thing up for me so I wouldn’t ‘hole myself up in my dorm’ during school. I think she missed the point._

Amazingly, the words came out like nothing. Hope was usually the sort who would think before speaking…or typing. He proofread things five times. But this message had been added to the ‘sent’ folder without even thinking about it.

Even more amazingly, a reply came less than two hours later, during a study break.

_Especially since your profile says you’re at Eden University. I’ve heard that place is tough._

He smiled, not making her wait. _Yeah, it is, but it’s worth it. I’m majoring in temporal science. Are you in school anywhere?_

_No, I couldn’t afford it. Family reasons. I work in a security regiment in my hometown. What the heck is temporal science?_

_Well…_

Somehow, the easy rapport and conversation continued for years. Despite the fact that they were messaging over a dating website, becoming _more_ had never crossed his mind. To him, Lightning - or Light, as she’d insisted after the first week or so - was simply a friend he could communicate with for study breaks. They seemed to talk about _everything_ \- family, friends, hobbies, beliefs, dreams for the future. He’d never connected with anyone like this before.

Then again, he’d never had an online-only friendship with anyone before.

“Oh yeah, Lightning’s tried that,” Hope said, nodding towards the fish on Fang’s plate. She and Vanille had taken him out to dinner. “She said it’s some kind of Bodhum specialty. I guess they import it here.”

“Facsinating.” Fang quirked an eyebrow.

“It’s not really…”

“No, but what’s fascinatin’ is that I’ve heard about this Lightning girl over and over and _over_ from you for years now.” She shook her head. “When are we gonna meet her, huh?”

"I don’t know!” Hope felt his cheeks flush for some reason. “She lives in Bodhum! It’s not exactly across the street!”

Vanille was giggling. “Fang’s right. You do talk about her a _lot.”_ She brightened. “When’s the wedding?”

“There is no wedding!!!”

The two girls burst into laughter. “If I didn’t know better,” Fang said, gaining some composure, “I’d say you’d _want_ there to be.”

“We’re just friends,” he kept insisting, turning red at the thought of any wedding for him, ever.

Still, when he went home that night and turned on his laptop, he instantly went to Lightning’s profile pictures. She hadn’t added any since her sister Serah had set up the profile…almost three years ago now.

Three years.

He wondered if she looked any different. He wondered if she did have a boyfriend, and was just keeping contact with him because of their friendship. He wondered why that thought filled him with jealousy.

Why had he let Fang and Vanille put those thoughts in his head?! He and Lightning were just _friends._ F-R-I-E-N-D-S. They’d never even met in person!

…Not that he hadn’t thought about it, of course. Lightning had always claimed in her messages that she wasn’t very social, and besides Fang and Vanille, neither was he. So in theory, it’d just be the two of them hanging out…in his dorm room…together…alone.

But it was more than _those_ thoughts - it was imagining being able to talk about things and hear her voice - to hear her hopes and dreams in a tone that would make him want to help them come true far more than he already did.

_Hey, Hope. Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply. Serah introduced me to her new boyfriend last night. He’s an idiot. How’s school going?_

He hesitated, fingers over the home keys, but then did what he always did and just typed the first thing that came to mind.

_I think I’ve fallen in love with you somewhere along the line._

But as he stared at the words, he knew he couldn’t change things between them. Not without warning. Not while Bodhum was still so far away.

For the first time since they’d started talking, he completely erased his messaged and typed out a new one.

_Fine enough. They’re still a lot of work. Fang and Vanille and I are thinking of traveling to Bodhum for spring break…if you wanted to hang out with us or something._

At least if he spoke with her in person, he wouldn’t be able to erase his words. He’d know for sure.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, Serah has a hand in this...

Hope was gonna be sick, and it wasn't just because of Fang's driving.

Not that _that_ helped.

Really though, he should have been feeling anything but ill. Not only was it finally spring break - a well-deserved vacation from his intense workload at the prestigious Eden University - but for once, he was actually going somewhere, as opposed to hiding in his dorm and reading ahead in his textbooks. His friends Fang and Vanille had insisted on going up to the seaside town of Bodhum, which made a lot of sense since spring breaks were made for beaches.

Hope knew better, though. Fang and Vanille weren't after beach time, oh no no no.

They were out to ruin his life.

It'd been no coincidence that those two had just _happened_ to pick their vacation spot as Bodhum, because it just so _happened_ that the girl he'd been exchanging messages with on a dating website for the past three years lived there...which just _happened_ to be why Hope felt sick.

It wasn't because of the fact that he wasn't normally comfortable with meeting new people - never mind the fact that he and this girl, Lightning, had been talking online for three years, so she wasn't exactly new - or the fact that he might have fallen a little bit in love with her. It was that her replies to him, such as they were, had been so...unenthusiastic after he'd mentioned the possibility of meeting up.

_Sure, if you want, I guess. There's a bar/restaurant on the beach called Lebreau's that Serah and I go to a lot. Maybe I'll see you there._

The messages had been few and far between in the days leading up to the trip. He wanted to make official plants to meet, but didn't want to push or seem like a creep. Maybe she was just looking out for herself.

That would've been way easier to believe if he wasn't so convinced he was in love with her.

It was so weird. The dating site profile had been a joke for the both of them in the first place. As  easy as their rapport was, as easy as it was to talk to her about the important things, his fingers grew twisted at the thought of typing the _most_ important words. He could only imagine how idiotic he'd sound trying to _say_ them...though he had a feeling their conversations otherwise would come as easily as their messages.

"Here we are!" Fang parked in the lot near a fairly nice building. "Home sweet home, 'least for the week and all."

"You mean hotel sweet hotel!" Vanille grinned and hopped out of the car, grabbing Hope and practically shoving him out as well. "Be a dear and help us with the bags, 'kay?"

"I knew it," he murmured, mostly teasing. "You guys just brought me along as a pack mule."

"Now you're talkin'!" Fang whapped him on the back and he yelped.

"Seriously?!" Hope struggled to rub the sore spot on his back. "You _do_ remember you're on the weightlifting team, right? I mean, _ow._ " Though sometimes he imagined Fang was only on the team so she could bench press Vanille. Apparently it was a cool party trick.

"Oh, come now." Fang smirked, hoisting a duffel bag over her shoulder. "This Lightning of yours spent some time in the army, yeah? Betcha she'd do even worse."

"She's not _mine,_ " Hope mumbled. It didn't matter if he wished it was true or not. He probably wouldn't find out either way.

They quickly settled into the hotel. Not even the exhaustion of the long drive could keep Fang down, so she immediately declared they tour the town. Vanille, of course, was eager to go along. Hope only went so they couldn't make fun of him behind his back...and also because he didn't want to be tempted to check his message box over and over and over.

Luckily, Bodhum was a nice distraction. Everything seemed to be in walking distance, and whether it was a normal thing or the fact that the locals were hiding from the tourists, there weren't many cars on the road. It wasn't even that crowded, surprisingly, for all the things there were to do.

At times, Hope could have sworn Lightning was there at the corner of his eye, or that she could be that random person across the street. She hadn't changed her profile picture in those three years, and they'd only communicated through written messages - not over video or anything - so he had no idea if she looked the same or not. Maybe she'd dyed her hair so he purposely wouldn't find her.

Several hours later, Vanille skipped along the sand. Somehow, they'd found themselves walking along the beach. "I'm starved! Think we should look for a place to eat?"

"Yeah, sounds good." Fang glanced at Hope. "You in?"

"Sure, I guess."

"I think I see someplace over there." Vanille pointed. "What's that sign say - _Lebreau's,_ I think?"

Hope's heart stopped.

"As long as they've got food, good with me." Fang grinned, flinging an arm around Vanille's shoulders. "Maybe a drink or two."

"You're so _bad!_ "

"Um - " Hope coughed, ignoring their suggestive conversation. "You know, that, um, looks more like a bar to me..."

Fang looked over her shoulder. "If that's the case, we'll pop in for those drinks, No harm there, yeah?"

"...Yeah." He sighed heavily and followed the other two.

The place wasn't horribly busy. In fact, they managed to get seats right at the bar. Fang and Vanille immediately ordered drinks, but Hope hemmed and hawed before finally picking a light beer, much to the snickers of the girls. Like it was his fault he wasn't much of a drinker, seriously.

He'd barely taken a sip of that beer when someone knocked into him, causing half of it to spill all over his shirt. Hope jumped up with a shout of surprise, somehow not aware that half of the bar was staring at him. "What the - "

"Oh hey, man, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you sitting over there. Or I guess I just didn't watch where I was going."

"Uh..." Hope blinked and looked up...and up. Figures that the dude who'd crashed into him while he'd been sitting still had to be some big, tall lummox. "It's...it's all right. No harm done, I guess."

"'Cept for that shirt of yours." The guy grinned in a goofy manner. "Seriously, I'm sorry. Lemme buy you another one, at least."

"Uh. Sure. If you want, I guess."

"Well hey, don't sound so enthusiastic!" The guy laughed and ordered a replacement drink, then held his hand out. "By the way, name's Snow. Of course, if you want to call me a dick or whatever, go right ahead."

"Nahhh." At the introduction, however, Hope got a weird feeling in his gut. Snow? Why did that name sound vaguely familiar? "Accidents happen." He shook the proffered hand. "My name's Hope."

For some reason, at his name, Snow got a startled look on his face. In face, it was almost something like...recognition. But that was ridiculous. Hope had never been to Bodhum in his life.

" _There_ you are!" A third voice interrupted the silent pause that had come across both males. Snow immediately grinned and dropped the handshake, while Hope's gut knotted even further.

That pink hair was a little off. She was shorter than what her profile said. But could it be...?

"Where _have_ you been?" The girl smiled, going up to Snow's side and kissing his cheek. Hope felt like he was going to be sick again, but somehow managed to hide it when she looked at him curiously. "Oh, sorry. Am I interrupting...?"

"Just me being an idiot." Snow grinned. "I spilled Hope's beer all over him. Now I'm being a good citizen and buying him a new one, heh." He chuckled, gesturing to the girl beside him. "This is Serah, my girlfriend. Serah, _this_ is Hope."

Serah. That girl was Serah, who he knew very, very well was Lightning's sister. And Lightning's sister was there and Snow was Serah's idiot boyfriend that Lightning didn't care for and often ranted about in her messages and holy crap _what if Lightning was here?!?!_

"Hope, huh?" Serah's eyes were twinkling with something Hope completely messed since he was trying not to be sick. "Nice to meet you. Are you just here for a visit?"

"Yeah, for spring break."

"Any particular... _reason_ why you picked Bodhum?" She cocked her head innocently. "I like it here, but it's not exactly on the top of the list of vacation destinations."

"Well, I, uh..." Hope was glad when his replacement beer arrived, since it gave him something to do other than let his hands fidget needlessly. “My friends Fang and Vanille – ” he gestured behind him, “wanted to come here. So here I am.”

“Good a reason as any.” Serah smiled warmly, though it got even bigger when she apparently spotted someone she knew. “Sis! Over here!”

The sick feeling came back tenfold.

Though the noise level was pretty moderate, Hope could still hear the click-click-click of boots across the tile floor as they approached. The air around him seemed to grow ten degrees warmer, and he was acutely aware of how tense he’d gotten in anticipation. Time seemed to slow down as the person Serah called over grew closer and closer.

Somehow, Hope knew _exactly_ when to turn his head.

His very first thought was awe. Despite not having changed her profile picture for three years, she looked exactly the same – hell, she looked _exactly_ like her picture...except for her eyes. If Hope was any good with poetic words, he probably could have spent ages describing them. Seeing them – seeing _her_ in person was completely overwhelming in a multitude of ways.

“Serah? What – ” She hadn’t bothered to look at him as she’d been completely focused on her sister, but when their eyes finally met, it was clear that Lightning immediately recognized him. Her lips parted in surprise, her eyes wide. Perhaps she’d even stopped breathing for a moment, because he voice was breathless when she spoke. “Hope...?”

“Uh...” He cleared his throat. Damnit, why couldn’t he be more suave? What happened to that instant rapport he felt with her? “Yeah. Um. Yes.” He managed a little smile. “I’m here.”

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“I see that.” Had she said that in a message, he would have imagined the tone to be sarcastic, but now it was still one of utter surprise. “Well...welcome to Bodhum, then, I guess.”

“Yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck. Despite the surprise and slight awkwardness, he couldn’t take his eyes from her. “Snow knocked a beer into me. Is that part of welcome committee?”

Something incredible then happened.

She _smiled._

“It should be. It’s not the first time that’s happened.” She smacked Snow in the back of head, who let out a yelp of complaint.

“Hey, hey, hey! It’s only because there’s so much room in here, you know!”

“Maybe you should wear some kind of Caution sign on your person,” Hope added, sipping his beer. Serah, who’d been looking all huffy during the conversation, giggled at Hope’s comment.

“Maybe he should,” she agreed, kissing Snow’s head where Lightning had smacked him. “It might help, anyway.”

“Not much.” Lightning shook her head. Her eyes flickered back to Hope’s, and there it was again – those weird butterflies that made him want to throw up. “So...Hope. How long are you here?”

“Spring break.” Duh, she’d already known that. He’d told her in a message. “Two weeks.”

“Hey, sis.” Serah smiled sweetly. “Why don’t you take Hope out to see the beach? They don’t have them in Eden, you know. Might be nice for him.”

“I, uh – ” Hope wanted to say that he’d seen the beach earlier with Fang and Vanille – where were those two, anyway? – but Lightning was looking at him expectantly and he just nodded. “Okay. If you don’t mind, Lightning.”

“Hm.” She simply turned on her heel and gestured with her head. It wasn’t until that Hope followed that she actually spoke. “Call me Light.”

“...Light.” He had to admit, he loved the way that sounded. “Okay.”

For some reason, that seemed to be a conversation killer. With how easily she’d always replied to his messages on the dating site, Hope had always imagined that Lightning always had something to say, but this didn’t seem to be the case at all. They walked in utter silence, only the sound of the waves making any noise. It wasn’t _that_ awkward – he’d be lying if he said there wasn’t any awkwardness at all – but it almost seemed like they were waiting for something. Maybe she was waiting for him to start the conversation.

Why did he have to get so tongue-tied when it mattered most?

They’d probably walked about a mile when he finally said something. Unfortunately, it was the worst possibly thing he probably could have said.

“I think I love you.”

She stopped in her tracks. So did he, mentally cursing himself. _What the hell was wrong with him?!_

More silence.

“Light – ”

“Why?”

“What?”

She crossed her arms, hunching her shoulders a bit, not quite looking at him. Any other time, he might have thought it was the kind of body language that screamed ‘stay away’, but her voice was the complete opposite – breathless and curious. “Why?”

“Why...” Oh, duh. She wanted to know why he...he... “Why not?”

Immediately, he knew it was a stupid thing to say. Lightning scowled in annoyance, moving like she was about to walk off, but Hope did something insane.

He grabbed her arm and kept her right where she was.

She gasped a little, turning to stare at him with wide eyes. And _damn,_ those eyes. They were speaking to him, telling him exactly what to say. For once, the words came out easily.

“You’re...you.” He swallowed nervously, daring to take a step closer, relieved when she didn’t move away. “I swear, I didn’t mean for this to happen. Vanille set up my profile as a joke, and I was only responding to you with the intention of friendship.” He dared another look into her eyes, breathless by what he saw. “I don’t know how, but gradually, you just...took over. My friends pointed out that I talk about you all the time. The highlight of my day is getting those messages from you. Whenever you talked about your life, or your family, all I could think was...” His hand slid down her arm to grasp her hand. “I want to be part of it.”

Despite the fact that he felt like fainting after he’d stopped talking, it was nothing compared to the wide-eyed expression on Lightning’s face. Had he said too much? But she wasn’t running off! Maybe she was thinking of a way to punch his lights out and leave him on the beach...

“...This is what I was afraid of.”

“What?” He was more surprised by the fact that she’d responded verbally rather than decking him.

“I...” She looked away, but at the same time, stepped a little closer, their hands still grasped. “For awhile, I was wondering what it would be like to meet you in person. I have to admit, I was the same.” Was that a _blush?_ “Serah commented that I talked about you all the time.” She shook her head. “That’s why when you mentioned that you were coming up here, I...I didn’t know what to do. So I fought it. I figured if I could ignore how I was starting to feel about you, I could ignore the possibility of...” She shrugged. “Anything.”

Hope was all but gaping now. Hearing her say these things – hell, hearing her say _anything,_ rather than simply reading it – it had such an impact on his heart. He would have imagined a completely different tone of voice, and he never, ever would have thought that she’d continue to hold his hand through it.

“...How you feel about me...?” was the only response he could come up with.

To his surprise, Lightning’s cheeks flushed with an actual blush. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, she completely untangled her hand from his and ran off, muttering something he didn’t quite catch.

“Light!” He stood there in shock before it dawned on him to run after her. “Lightning, wait!”

The army training had done her good. She vanished from sight before he could even hope to catch up, and though he imagine she’d return to Lebreau’s, he didn’t see her in the nearby crowd when he somewhat caught up. _Damnit._

His phone beeped suddenly, and he instinctively pulled it out with a grimace, having no patience to answer any texts or calls...but to his surprise, it was an alert that he had a new message on that dating website. Quickly, he opened it, his heart all but stopping – and not just from the running – when he read it.

_I think I might love you, too._

His reply was instant, the words coming to him easily. _Can I hear you say that in person?_

There was a moment before she replied, and he wondered if maybe he’d typed the wrong thing. Luckily, he was proven wrong. _There’s a fireworks festival going on in town square tomorrow night. Meet me there?_

There was only one answer to that.

_Yes._

Hope smiled to himself, his heart now racing, and not just from his heavy breathing.

This time, their words would not fail them. He’d make sure of it.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [tumblr~](http://rainbowserenity.tumblr.com)


End file.
